Jacylynn Jones
supported by her neices
Jayla Jones, Layla Whipple & Malea Whipple
Jacylynn’s twin sister Josalyn Jones died unexpectedly in 2020 from COVID-19. She was 43 years old. Jacy is now the guardian of her three nieces, Jayla, Layla and Malea. Jacy joined this project in an effort to honor her memory of Josalyn and to acknowledge her grief.
When I think of water through the grieving process I think of the waves.
The waves represent the emotions that move within us when I think of another person - Just over a year ago, I lost my twin sister to covid-19. It takes almost nothing to make the waves of grief wash over me. I can be driving and just pass a place where we used to be, and the emotions starts running through my mind. It is overwhelming, filled with anger, and hurt - but as my sister taught me, I let the emotions flow through - letting the negativity go like a receding wave.
When a person leaves this world it is meant to brings tears filled with a lifetime of memories. The hurt and pain that is felt is supposed to be there.
But learning to cope with grief that’s the tricky part. . . Every culture have different coping mechanisms for grieving, but for most the process is difficult to understand until we are in it. Grief is not something that can be taught. It can only be experienced. It is not as easy for anyone, and explaining it is even harder.
With grief comes tears and the dehydration that follows. We drink water to sustain our bodies, so the tears can continue to flow and the emotions of grief move within us.
With grief there also comes change. The old habits that are known and familiar and present but they change and adapt and move us to survive without the ones we have loved and lost. The Bible says “blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted.” It is a promise I hold on tightly to, as I have come to realize that showing my emotions brings me comfort. Grief still comes . . . . comes in waves. I was drowning when I first heard that my twin sister might not make it, and all my feelings were sad and I felt so much pain. The waves of emotions were relentless and all I can do was to hang on and float through my emotions.
I never know what’s going to trigger my grief - a place me and my sister always go, a song that we song together, her children, even me looking into the mirror. Even though it has been more than a year now, I still do know how to cope with this grief. There are no rules to this. Trust me I checked google. I also know already that everyone will die someday. It’s just dealing with the grieving process, and going through life without my sister is what I have to learn. Staying around people that will bring the good out of me not the negative. The waves will still come but over time they will be farther apart. I cry over these waves of emotions. Talking about me and my twin sister, our memories over the years, bring tears, but now also laughter. The waves will not stop coming, because they are supposed to be there. So when the waves of emotions caused by grief comes I still will learn how to swim. I am called a TWINLESS twin, I have to represent us both. Most often people forget surviving siblings often become the forgotten mourners.
photographed by Lee Elee Vue / writing, concept and curation by Jacylynn Jones
THE death of a twin
The death of a twin is unimaginable. It is the loss of one’s self in the reflection of water. But here I am now in this river of happy memories that flow down my face when I think about you.
photographed by Lee Elee Vue / writing by Jacylynn Jones / featuring Jayla Jones, Layla Whipple and Malea Whipple
A Family New
Our loss is deep, and there is no replacing you. But here we are. . . . a family new, made from our collective tears. As our tears fold into the water we have become what we are now one family built from tears of grief.
The reflection of Water / a story of grief and water
The Rain Watcher Project is supported in part by Capitol Region Watershed District , the FR Bigelow Foundation, the Saint Paul and Minnesota Foundation, the McKnight Foundation, the Minnesota State Arts Board Creative Support Fund, the Metropolitan Regional Arts Council Flexible Support Fund, the Minnesota State Arts Board American Rescue Plan Award.