No MORE TIME

My father and I had a falling out. His girlfriend hated my sister and I. She kept him from us. We couldn’t even call him, even though we knew he missed us. Whenever we would run in to him, he would say “Call me sometime,” and we would. But we never got an answer.

I was mad at him for not fighting for his girls, but when his girlfriend would kick him out, he would make the effort to see us and talk to us. It did not happen often. Two years ago, my dad had a heart attack. While awaking from a coma, he had requested to the staff, that my sister and I be his beneficiaries. His wife was so mad that she left him there, taking his clothes and his wallet, leaving him with nothing.

My sister and I picked him up from the hospital and brought him home to stay with my sister. My sister and I are neighbors, so it was wonderful to be able to see my dad finally on a regular basis. But it didn’t last long…. Soon he was back with the person that loved to keep us separated. Those 10 days with him, was such a gift.

I hated that he loved this woman who hated us - that she could keep my father separated from his own flesh and blood. Her hate spilled over into my life - and I became so angry with my father for choosing her over his own children.

Two days before he died he visited my sister. I saw him but didn’t go out to say hi, because I was so mad. Then he called and I didn’t answer because I was still hurt. I was going to call him back . . . . but time moved, and a text was sent, and our opportunity to talk and make up, and forgive had suddenly passed with the words of his death.

Upon his death, my sister and I were not allowed to be a part of his funeral, to say our goodbyes. Separated not only in life from our father, we were also separated in showing our grief for him.

To this day, I have nowhere to go to place flowers, to say my words of love and grief to him. All that is left are my memories and my dreams, - two things she will never be able to take away.